These are the notes from a combined K-2 group that met on April 1, 2015.
Topic: Fostering independence and confidence to allow for appropriate freedom.
Sub topics included:
One example discussed revolved around a family getting a young child a razor scooter, and the child giving up on the toy right away.
Possible solutions:
When encouraging kids to try new things/sports/activities:
Good Realizations:
How to provide age appropriate freedom for your child:
One example included a young girl wanting to walk around the block by herself.
Ideas:
Links:
Two books that were referenced and noted as a useful read by a few in the group were:
Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv
Beautiful Oops by Barney Saltzberg
Another item mentioned were kid safe knives similar to these:
http://www.amazon.com/Curious-Chef-3-Piece-Nylon-Knife/dp/B002Q5YH9C/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1429540555&sr=8-1&keywords=kid+knives
An interesting article relevant to the conversation:
http://www.babble.com/parenting/the-new-trending-parenting-catch-phrase-that-i-actually-love/
Topic: Fostering independence and confidence to allow for appropriate freedom.
Sub topics included:
- How can we effectively deal with children who do not want to participate in structured activities, but would rather play at home or with neighborhood friends? Similarly, how can we manage a situation where a child wants to quit when she realizes she doesn’t like the activity?
- How can we give our kids age appropriate freedoms?
One example discussed revolved around a family getting a young child a razor scooter, and the child giving up on the toy right away.
Possible solutions:
- Bribery or rewards for sticking with the activity.
- Using peer pressure - highlighting how their friends have so much fun doing this activity (kids of same age can learn it, so can you).
- Reframing the activity to be ‘special time’ with a parent (one family did this successfully with a child learning to ski- it was daughter-daddy time and she was then excited to go).
- Just back off and wait for the child to show interest.
- Use alternate methods to build interest in the activity: YouTube videos, drawing pictures of the event/activity, building LEGO structures related to activity, telling stories related to activity.
- Highlighting the ‘beautiful opps’ story/philosophy to reiterate that it’s ok to make mistakes especially when learning something new.
When encouraging kids to try new things/sports/activities:
- Have an agreement for how long the child will stay with the activity (if s/he is asking to quit). I.e. get agreement to stay at least to the halfway mark of the session/season and re-evaluate then.
Good Realizations:
- Lower expectations for what kids can do (span of attention, stamina, the rate at which they learn, their passion or level of interest). Be ok with small steps.
- Don’t judge too soon. Give them lots of time and lots of tries.
- Don’t be so sensitive. It is easy to be emotionally involved in wanting our kids to do or love some activity we love, or wish we had done as kids. It’s important to manage our own emotions/reactions if our kids aren’t as excited about it, interested in it, or as good at it as we want them to be.
- We need to let kids do things when time allows- no need to rush them or over load them.
- Realize that all kids are different. Try not to fall into the comparison trap, or assume that just because their friend, sibling, parent loved to do x,y or z thing, that they will too.
- Don’t rush through the day- remember that kids need more time to move through things, process things. Give them the time they need.
How to provide age appropriate freedom for your child:
One example included a young girl wanting to walk around the block by herself.
Ideas:
- Find ways to allow the child to experience more freedom, while still addressing your concerns for safety. For example, one father agreed to let this child walk around the block, but she needed to carry a walkie-talkie at first.
- Another idea was to let your neighbors know that the child would be doing this so that they can look out for that child.
- In general, you can come up with a ‘certification’ process for what your child wants to be able to do. For instance, if a child wants to use kitchen knives to chop food, he would be ‘trained’ by a parent and show that he can safely use a knife. Similarly, if a child wanted to cross the street by herself, you could watch her on family walks to see if she pauses at corners and looks both ways. If she automatically does this already, maybe she is ready to cross on her own.
Links:
Two books that were referenced and noted as a useful read by a few in the group were:
Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv
Beautiful Oops by Barney Saltzberg
Another item mentioned were kid safe knives similar to these:
http://www.amazon.com/Curious-Chef-3-Piece-Nylon-Knife/dp/B002Q5YH9C/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1429540555&sr=8-1&keywords=kid+knives
An interesting article relevant to the conversation:
http://www.babble.com/parenting/the-new-trending-parenting-catch-phrase-that-i-actually-love/