Parents discussed how we have power struggles around chores, with kids feeling they don’t have enough control over their time and activities.
Kids aren’t logical.
It can seem like a waste of time fighting them when they want to play.
Kids lose focus.
Sometimes they get stressed when you set a timer (ignore it, or freak out).
They goof off a lot.
Upset if we leave them and go downstairs.
A longer morning (because school starts at 9:30?) leads to more conflict.
We have to tell our kids what to do to get them to do it.
Some kids love some chores so encourage them to do what they love.
Some solutions we discussed were:
• Work on ourselves first, as parents. Get organized.
• As parents, don’t expect kids can do all their chores alone; pitch in and do them together.
• Do the fun things first and then the chores.
• Try a chore chart – although it may not work for long. One family said the kids enjoyed building the chart but don’t actually use it.
• Give them flexibility to decide what chores to do.
• Add a chore in the morning to give some structure to that long time before school. Night time can be a difficult time for chores.
• One system discussed was to velcro paper plates to the wall and put chore pictures on them, then scatter them on the floor and as you do the chores, you stick them back on the wall.
• Marble jars: add a marble for every chore done and when the jar’s full they get a treat.
• If bedtime routine is too long, spend less time reading.
• Encourage kids to do what they enjoy as a chore.
• Make am/pm checklists to help with routines.
• Recognize your own stressors as parents and ask the kids to help out.
• Say “see how fast we can do it”
• Keep a log for multiple days
• Try a device called “The time timer” – helps kids visually see how much time they have left for an activity.
• Write a list of things that need to be done, intermixed with “choice time.” Let the kids decide what order to do them but remember to give reminders when it’s time to move to the next thing.
Book: Chores without Wars by Lynn Lott, one of the Positive Discipline originators
Kids aren’t logical.
It can seem like a waste of time fighting them when they want to play.
Kids lose focus.
Sometimes they get stressed when you set a timer (ignore it, or freak out).
They goof off a lot.
Upset if we leave them and go downstairs.
A longer morning (because school starts at 9:30?) leads to more conflict.
We have to tell our kids what to do to get them to do it.
Some kids love some chores so encourage them to do what they love.
Some solutions we discussed were:
• Work on ourselves first, as parents. Get organized.
• As parents, don’t expect kids can do all their chores alone; pitch in and do them together.
• Do the fun things first and then the chores.
• Try a chore chart – although it may not work for long. One family said the kids enjoyed building the chart but don’t actually use it.
• Give them flexibility to decide what chores to do.
• Add a chore in the morning to give some structure to that long time before school. Night time can be a difficult time for chores.
• One system discussed was to velcro paper plates to the wall and put chore pictures on them, then scatter them on the floor and as you do the chores, you stick them back on the wall.
• Marble jars: add a marble for every chore done and when the jar’s full they get a treat.
• If bedtime routine is too long, spend less time reading.
• Encourage kids to do what they enjoy as a chore.
• Make am/pm checklists to help with routines.
• Recognize your own stressors as parents and ask the kids to help out.
• Say “see how fast we can do it”
• Keep a log for multiple days
• Try a device called “The time timer” – helps kids visually see how much time they have left for an activity.
• Write a list of things that need to be done, intermixed with “choice time.” Let the kids decide what order to do them but remember to give reminders when it’s time to move to the next thing.
Book: Chores without Wars by Lynn Lott, one of the Positive Discipline originators